


Instructions Not Included

by AndreaDTX



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dean found his chill pill, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Humor, Team Free Will 2.0 (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaDTX/pseuds/AndreaDTX
Summary: Sam and Dean teach Jack how to human.
Relationships: Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Instructions Not Included

**Author's Note:**

> Started this piece at the beginning of season 13 with the random thought of "It's weird what Jack does and doesn't understand about being human." This piece is canon-adjacent with Dean being far less cranky about Jack's existence. Kudos and comments are craved and hoarded.

Jack spends most of his time just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. No pun intended. From the moment he was born, he’s both ahead of and behind the learning curve.

His mother’s gone.

Castiel, who was supposed to protect him, is gone.

He’s alone and not sure what to do.

So, he walks.

It doesn’t take him long to realize that humans think clothes are important. And a thing called ID. That seems really important to them. Without one, he can’t convince them he’s not lost and they want him to stay in the building with the metal bars. So, he does.

Until, Sam and Dean, who both Kelly and Castiel trusted, find him and they try to help. Well, Sam more than Dean.

There’s just so much to learn.

Like Food. Food’s weird. He often forgets to eat until his stomach aches with it. And even when he remembers, he’s hesitant. It’s hard to know how things will taste like or how they’ll feel on his tongue. Taste and texture are big issues for Jack. Sam says it’s to be expected. Most people start off as babies, drinking milk and formula before slowly being introduced to ‘soft’ foods so they can find out what they do and don’t like. But Jack’s already eating chocolate candies when they find him, so they decide skip straight to ‘solids’ and he eats whatever they eat.

Dean refers to it as a ‘crapshoot.’

Hot, cold. Sweet, salty. Smooth, crunchy. Fried, grilled. Chalky, slimy. There are so many combinations. The first time they have to figure it out, Jack tries to take charge. He knows he likes 'nougat', and would probably stick with that, but Sam tells him on day one he can only have that once in a while or it’ll make him sick. But the next time Jack gets hungry, he demands more nougat. Sam doesn’t have the power to stop him, and backs down when Jack lets his eyes light up. They stop at a gas station and Jack picks out a bunch of chocolate in shiny, crinkly packages. He eats until his stomach starts to feel tight. His insides are buzzy and happy. At first. Then they’re buzzy and angry.

Half an hour later, he gets sick in the back of the car.

Dean, who’s already pretty cranky most of the time, curses a blue streak and swerves the car onto the side of the road. Sam helps Jack scramble out of the back seat and into the tall grass, where he pukes until his throat is raw and his face is disgustingly wet leaking hot water from his eyes and slimy liquid from his mouth and nose. Sam rubs his back and gives him a bottle of water, warning him to sip it slowly. Jack listens this time.

After a lot grumbling from Dean and harsh whispers from Sam, Jack is allowed to sit between them in the front seat. They head straight to what Sam explains is a car wash where Dean cleans the car, all the while muttering threats about ripping Jack’s lungs out if it happens again. Jack doesn’t think Dean can really hurt him, but he’s seen him kill angels, so there’s no way to be sure. It’s an unnecessary threat. Food forcefully evacuating his body is a painful and terrifying experience that he’d prefer not to repeat. After that, in an abundance of caution, Jack decides to eat whatever the brothers eat. They seem to have mastered fooding.

Sam eats ‘salad’ which smells like the grass in the fields they sometimes stop in when they need to stretch their legs. He says it’s ‘healthy’ and is good for your body. Jack tries some. It’s crunchy and kinda tastes like dirt. But 'salad dressing' is tangy and sharp, particularly Ranch which Jack decides he likes a lot. Sam says he’s only allowed to have it when eating salad though. It seems like a fair enough trade, but sometimes Jack likes to think about what else he could eat with Ranch.

Dean eats ‘fast food’, which apparently refers to the speed at which it’s prepared. It tastes a lot better than Sam’s healthy food, but gives Jack stomachaches. Not as bad as the candy did but enough to make him uncomfortable. Both brothers agree it’s the grease.

“Yeah, but the grease is what makes it taste so good,” Dean insists.

“And it’s also what makes Jack sick because he has the digestive system of a newborn and no one in their right mind would give a newborn baby a truck stop burger,” Sam argues back.

Sam uses the diner’s wi-fi to research a list of restaurant foods that might be good for ‘kids with sensitive tummies.’ The list makes eating a lot easier and Jack soon has lots of different things he likes that don’t make him sick.

Food’s not the only thing that puts his physical appearance in conflict with what he knows about the world. Apparently, humans learn a lot about survival in the first five years of life, when they’re small enough that needing help is embarrassing to neither the giver nor the recipient. Jack has none of that training and apparently that makes the Winchester brothers uncomfortable. The first time it comes up is shortly after they’re attacked by angels in the sheriff’s station.

The brothers are arguing about what they should do. Jack watches, not saying anything. He’s considering going to find more of that nougat stuff when he feels a dull throbbing pain low in his stomach. He does his best to ignore it since Sam and Dean are busy talking with all the people in the matching brown clothes and cars with lights on top. Dean’s upset, probably because Jack got Sam hurt, so he’s determined he won’t cause any more problems. He sits, body rigid, waiting for them to finish. He waits and waits, trying to stay still against the uncomfortable sensation until suddenly, without his permission, his body relaxes and the terrible dull pain goes away. But then he has a new problem. His pants feel warm and damp, but they’re quickly growing cold and uncomfortable. He knows without being told, this is a bad thing.

Sam glances over, doing a double take.

“Oh man,” Sam mumbles, his shoulders slumping.

“You gotta be friggin’ kiddin’ me!” Dean huffs. “So, he knows how to walk and talk, but they skimped on the whole don’t-pee-your-pants part? Perfect.”

He points a finger at Jack.

“Dude, he is _not_ getting in Baby like that.”

Sam glares at Dean raises a defiant brow. “No! And you need to figure this out before it happens again three hours from now.”

Sam sighs and nods. They talk about something called diapers. Pampers or Depends. But apparently they’re too expensive and would need to be “changed” several times a day which they don’t have the time or desire to do.

“So we’re potty training the anti-christ. Great. This is all you, Sam.” Dean says with a roll of his eyes. 

Jack doesn’t understand all the words they’re saying, but he can sense the tension. Maybe something’s really wrong with him. He asks Sam as much.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You… uh… you urinated. It’s perfectly natural. I do it. Dean does it. The, uh, the trick is to _not_ do it inside of your clothes.”

It doesn’t take Jack long to learn. Having accidents feels bad so he’s motivated. Once Sam explains how to know when he needs the bathroom and what to do, Jack only has one more accident and only because he thought he could wait a little bit longer. Dean grumbles about having to stop so often, but he always pulls over as soon as Jack asks and even tells Jack ‘good job’ once, which kinda means more than Sam’s enthusiastic encouragement and constant checking.

After that, Sam researches something he calls childhood milestones.

“Maybe we can get ahead of it, figure out what to anticipate so there aren’t any more messy surprises,” he says.

It turns out they’re in luck as far as physical growth goes. Jack already has all his teeth, he’s not going to go through any growth spurts. He can already walk and talk and they’re pretty sure he’s not susceptible to human childhood illnesses. Their biggest hurdle is getting him properly socialized.

“Dude, _we’re_ not even properly socialized,” Dean scoffs.

Sam is determined though. He teaches Jack to say please and thank you, to cover his mouth when he burps or sneezes.

Dean teaches him to make fart noises with his hands and how to wolf whistle. Much to Sam’s annoyance, Jack masters them both immediately.

He laughs when Jack begins to imitate Dean’s every move, much to Dean’s displeasure.

“Copying movements. That’s part of the month four milestones,” Sam says.

He’s less entertained when he starts to constantly have to stop Jack from putting objects his mouth. Jack’s just curious what they taste like.

“Yeah,” Sam says when Jack explains, “but they’re covered in germs and can make you really sick. And it’s not like we can take you to the doctor.”

Then he pauses, scoffs when he realizes what he’s said. “Actually, _you_ probably wouldn’t get sick, but someone who looks like a college student licking salt shakers at a restaurant draws attention we really don’t need.”

They spend a lot of time making sure Jack knows how to behave in public. But Jack still tends to stand out like a sore thumb, particularly when people speak to him. One girl called him Mork and asked him where his home planet was.

“We gotta get him some culture,” Dean says. “He’s gotta sound like a real boy.”

Sam agrees. “That took years with Cas and it didn’t really take until Metatron downloaded him with pop culture’s greatest hits.”

Dean thinks about it for a moment. “Well, even before that Cas really dug cartoons. Something about the roadrunner pursuing god.”

They find a few DVDs in a bin outside a gas station and buy them.

“It’ll give him something to do besides watching us sleep like a creeper.”

Turns out, cartoons are fun.

Now, Jack watches his cartoons at night while Sam and Dean rest. He’s only woken them twice because he was giggling too loudly. He really likes Scooby Doo.

As they travel, they collect more. Garfield, DuckTales, TaleSpin. Jack loves them all, laughing at their antics even as he studies their behavior and speech pattern.

“Why does Alvin continually test his father’s patience?” he asks one day with a confused frown. “Is it because he fears Dave doesn’t truly love him?”

“Oh, man,” Dean says with an affectionate eye roll. “You’re a chip off the old block.”

Sam explains that Alvin is mischievous because he _knows_ that Dave loves him and won’t make him leave just because he causes problems.

“Oh,” Jack says. That sounds nice of Dave, but not very nice of Alvin. He would never do that to Sam and Dean.

Months pass and Jack stays with them, learning to be human. They’re both patient, each in their own way, and teach him so much. Small things like how to make hot chocolate. Big things like how to avoid bad guys. They do their best to help him figure out how to control his powers, even though they have none of their own as a point of reference. They help him so much he doesn’t know how he can ever repay them. The brothers are drifters, never really wishing for much of anything big or flashy. There’s only thing he’s ever really heard them long for, a wistful desire they only talk about amongst themselves when they think he’s not paying attention. He doesn’t want to be like Alvin.

So, he decides to make sure they know he knows they love him.

He’ll give them something as valuable as what they’ve given him.

His powers surge.

“Castiel,” he commands.

**Author's Note:**

> What else do you think the Winchesters would've had to explain or teach to Jack?


End file.
